In Which We Go And Ruin Everything (Part Two)

I hope everybody had a nice holiday season. If your belief system includes the giving and receiving of gifts, I hope you got what you wanted -- I did.

My New Years' resolution was the same as last years', and the year before that -- get in better shape and start taking care of myself. Of course, this year I finally have some incentive, seeing as Mariah Carey is available again.

The the last installment featured a fun idea for spreading the Christmas spirit wherever you go using only a Christmas tree (preferably a 4 - 6' Douglas Fir), some rope (preferably nylon or bungee cord), and your car (preferably a black Acura Integra). Reader T.P. (hmmm, speaking of pranks involving Christmas trees) appreciated the idea, but had the following points:

I liked your idea of leaving the christmas tree on the roof of the car, but there are a couple of problems with leaving the tree on the roof of the car.

1) The effects of wind, road salt, and the generally tree-hostile environment on the roof of the car lead to rapid degradation of the tree on the roof - pretty soon you've got a dried out skeleton of a tree, and people will say "My God, what kind of savages are those people - abusing a tree that way!" plus the neighbors (who are nosy at the best of times) cannot be fooled, since they will see the tree on the car every day.

2) Neighborhood vandals with lighters may find a christmas tree left on the top of a car an item that needs ignition.

Still, it was a cool idea.

In the portion of last week's MMF of the Week which actually covered the subject of MMF, we covered the story of intrepid reader B.L., who upon being spammed with the Christopher Erickson "reports" variation chain letter one too many times, decided to have a bit of fun with the spammer. The end result was the spammer sending B.L. the reports for free. For the first time ever, we present the four reports in their entirety (believe me, you won't exactly need to install another hard drive to store them), and absolutely free.

So, why do these "reports" exist? They're the critical part of a chain letter which claims that by "buying" and "selling" information, participants aren't breaking the law. Of course, as long-time readers of this site know, this is false, as carefully explained by the US Post Office's statement on chain letters, which appears to have been written with the Christopher Erickson "reports" variant in mind. Any chain letter which claims to exploit a loophole to gain legality doesn't contain all the legal histrionics to appease lawyers or law enforcement, but rather to fool potential victims into thinking it's legal. Refer to a few random federal statutes, include the number to the USPS hotline, and add a few fake success stories, and the math-challenged suckers practically jump right into your boat.

Anyway, after B.L. received the four reports, he still wasn't done with the spammer. He created yet another fictional persona -- somebody who'd already used the chain letter successfully.

Subject: $50,000 in 90 days
From: "Richard Bland"
To: SYNTONY1@aol.com

Hey, got your email from about the beginning of the month and then I got the same message yesterday showing that you are now at position #4! You must have made a bundle so far!

I participated in one of these programs a couple of months ago and made about $11,000 - far short of what I expected but not to bad cash, huh?!? I am thinking about running another one to pay off the car I bought.

To which Nicole replied:

Subject: $50,000 program
From: SYNTONY1@aol.com
To: "Richard Bland"

Hi Rich - I am quite perplexed about the workings of this program at the moment, given what you are saying to me. I used a bulk email service, so I did not get loads of hate mail, just a few pieces of correspondence back to me, such as yours. No, I did not try Usenet. I have had almost no response in my postal mail box so far, so I find it intersesting that the program continues and I am now at #4. Most importantly, yes, of course when I got a request for a report, I sent it out. I have no intention of neglecting my end of a sale. N.

In other words -- no earth-shattering surprise here -- she's made almost no money from the chain letter. In fact, if we take into account typical MMFools' fondness for exaggeration, we can assume that she's made no money at all.

But some good did come out of her enterprise, of course -- she gave away the reports for free, thus theoretically making this version of the "reports" chain letter useless. After all, why would one want to pay $20.00 for the reports when they're now in the public domain? Feel free to post these on your own Web site (drop me a note with the URL if you do), post them to alt.make.money.fast, or point MMFools to this page.

So, no more stalling...here are the reports. The text is presented more or less verbatim as I've received them. When Nicole got them via postal mail she apparently faxed them from a fax machine at work to her fax/modem at home and then used an OCR program. I've fixed the formatting and OCR errors here and there, but the text (including spelling) is unchanged.

The first and fourth reports simply tell suckers how to run their own chain letter. The last portion of each report with the Jupiter, Florida address was added by Nicole, and that's her Mailboxes Etc. address. While they're not technically part of the original reports, I thought I'd leave them intact so that any would-be chain letter scammers who are miffed at Nicole's spilling of the beans will have an easy way to reach her.

While I'm tempted to add my own witty comments to each report (perhaps my absolute favorite is Report #2's claim that the concept of the four-level chain letter was invented in ancient Greece -- I suppose the Romans gave us the ten-person variant and the "recipes" version, and it was actually Ada Lovelace who wrote the first version of "CASHFLOW" for Babbage's Difference Engine), they're pretty easy targets. So, I'll let you make up your own jokes.

Although I can't believe that the author got his or her description of the McDonald's business model absolutely wrong in Report #2, as said author probably works for McDonald's.

Sorry. I promised no commentary. I'll shut up now!

Report 1: "How to Make $250,000 Through Multi-Level Sales"

Henry Ford once said, "I wouldn't care if someone took all my money from me, because I know how to make it back. In fact, I have a greater knowledge and a better plan than I did the first time." Men like Henry Ford, Andrew Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller, and others all had one thing in common. They had a very simple plan for success which they followed religiously. The plan that you are now considering, and are going to read more about, can make you more money than you have ever imagined! A plan so simple that you may not believe it will work. However, one of the reasons that it does work is because it is simple!

All you have to do is follow these steps and you will have a shot at your quarter-million dollars:

CAUTION: Do not be tempted to vary this formula in any way! You must follow these steps exactly.

Use a four-step multi-level technique.
The product must sell for $5.00 and must be information that can be reproduced and sold by others.
Your initial packets must contain the following:
- A personal letter of introduction from the originator of the plan
- An invitation to participate in the plan
- The necessary instructions to understand the plan
- A four level list of the reports with the names and addresses where the reports can be ordered
- Testimonials by others who have participated in the plan
- A conclusion from the originator to tie the whole package together
When the information is purchase from you, include a brief hand-written note. (thank you, etc.)
Get yourself a good email list, the more current the better.
Send out the most you can! You can send out fewer, but you're shooting for $250,000.

REMEMBER: You must follow each step exactly as directed in order to achieve maximum success!

Now, lets look at the results of your efforts:

Assuming the worst possible circumstances, you can still expect .2% of the people to respond with an order. That?s 20 orders out of 10,000 packets. Therefore, at level one, you?ll receive 20 orders or $100. Unfortunately though, about 1/3 of those who respond will never get around to sending out any packets at all. I'll never understand how they can pass up this wonderful opportunity, but they foolishly will. This leaves just 13 out of 20 who will send out 10,000 packets each. If only .2% of these 130,000 folks respond, that's 260 orders for you on the second level or $1,300. Again, if only 2/3 of the people participate, 173 will send out 10,000 packets each, or 1,730,000 total. At level three, you?ll receive 3,460 orders or $17,300. Finally the 2/3 of those who respond will send out 10,000 packets, each with your name on level four. Still allowing for just .2% return, that will be 46,120 orders. This will come to $230,600! Add to that the $100, plus the $1,300, plus the $17,300 that you?ve already received from the other levels, and your grand total is $249,300!

Now, friends, lets not forget, we painted a very conservative picture in the above scenario. We estimated that out of every 10,000 packets received, 9,980 people tossed their possible fortune in the trash. We then estimated that 1/3 of those who do order will do absolutely nothing with this opportunity. It never ceases to amaze me how many wonderful people would rather choose to do nothing? just because it is easier. Using a good, current mailing list, you should do much better than the example that I have given. However, if you happen to be a die-hard pessimist, think about this:

If your response is only half as good as indicated in the example (a 0.1% response), your total income will be $124,650. If your response in 1/10 of .1% (unbelievably low) you'll still make over $12,465.

This means that if only ONE in one thousand decides to participate, you'll still make over $12,000.

You might now be thinking, "Gee, it really does sound good? but how much money will it cost me to participate in this plan?" My actual cost to send out 10,000 packets was only $15 for the on-line time. Also, don't overlook the easiest way of all to improve your profits: simply send out more than 100,000 packets. SEND OUT 500,000 IF YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE THE CASH FLOW!

You are probably one of the 20 or more who have ordered this series of reports from someone who probably sent out 10,000 or more packets. Will you be the one out of seven who does absolutely nothing ? or will you be one of those people who shoot for the $250,000? If you are one of the wise, whose fortune is just around the corner, take the time to re-read this report. Then begin at once! Follow the plan exactly as outlined. If you have any questions, contact the person from whom you ordered the report. The sooner you begin, the sooner you?ll be heading for the bank with your $250,000.

If you received a copy of this report and would like to have an OIGINAL of this or any of the other three reports for reprinting your orders, please send $5 cash (for each report you need) along with a self-addressed, stamped envelope and the name and number of the report(s) needed. All four will fit into one envelope. Also, please specify ORIGINAL in your letter. Send to: N.D., 4300 South U.S. Highway One, Suite 203-110, Jupiter, FL 33477

Report 2: "Major Corporations and Multi-Level Sales"

How do Exxon, McDonald's, Tupperware and Avon use the multi-level sales system? VERY PROFITABLY INDEED!

All of the major corporations use the basic four level sales plan, pioneered in ancient Greece more than 2000 years ago. Many billions each year in profits are earned by these giant corporations showing us the wisdom of the four level technique.

Exxon produces oil (level one), which is then sold to the refinery (level two). The refined products are sold to the wholesaler (level three), who sells to the retailer (level four) which is your local service station.

McDonald's buys beef, bread etc. (level one), which they sell to their sales department (level two), who sells to the regional franchise (level three), who in turn sells to the local store (level four).

Tupperware and Avon produce a product (level one), which they sell to their sales departments (level two), who sells to a distributor (level three), who sells to your local dealer or representative (level four).

Each of these and many other giant companies make their fortunes by using similar multi-level techniques. There are different products involved, but each of these companies have a few common denominators. First, each company as a specific and exact sales plan. Everyone in the company is expected to ollow the plan without any deviation. Second, all employees participating in the plan are dependent on those who are on the levels above and below themselves. The corporations is using thousands of people to make billions of ollars in profits.

Anyone can make money in a relatively short period of time, just by doing a few basic things:

Find a multi-level plan that is simple, workable, and does not cost much to get in.
Use a four-level sales technique.
Be prompt in all your business dealings, fill orders quickly and be honest in all things.
Encourage others to participate. If they make money, you will and vice versa. EVERYBODY WINS!

In today's market, a McDonald's franchise (if you can get one) will cost about $50,000. And that sum does not include any land, buildings, or equipment. That money is simply your admission ticket to be part of their proven plan.

YOU do not have to pay $50,000 (plus tons of hard work) to be part of a proven and successful plan.

There are a number of simple, workable multi-level opportunities that you can participate in for $100?. or even less. Of course, you can also put as much as you can justify into one of these multi-level mail order plans and thereby increase your return. The best investment in a plan such as we are discussing is increased mailings. The more letters of invitation you send out, the more money you will make.

Report 3: "Sources for the Best Mailing Lists"

There's one thing you must be absolutely certain of to ensure your success with multi-level programs: YOU MUST USE FRESH, UNUSED NAMES. Always ask the mailing companies if they can sell unused names and how much they are. There are thousands of ways to get fresh names. You may buy a good list, some list brokers might add your name and you may start receiving various types of "interesting" mail. Some of them will try to sell you their offer. Simply ignore these and do not let them discourage you. You are using the best program around anywhere.

The Most Useful Tool in the Retail Order Business is a Good "Hot Name" Mailing List.

If you are only sending out a few thousand (or up to 1,000,000) letters, you may be able to come up with a good mailing list on your own. Here are some suggested sources for putting together a small mailing list:

Ask your family, friends, and neighbors. You will be amazed how many of them have access to names.
Scan the newsgroups in the business and money sections.
Get an Internet Directory from a bookstore or similar source.
Look in the search engines under "email lists" for companies that sell mailing lists.

If you are going to mail to a large number of people who might want to participate in your plan, you may need to enlist the aid of a professional list broker. They will provide as many names as you could ever want. There are dozens of list brokers that you can contact and some are listed below: Go to a search engine (for instance, my favorite is Alta Vista at http://www.altavista.digital.com) and search on a key phrase such as "bulk email" or "email lists".

A few that I found were:

These should definitely get you started.

Report 4: "Evaluating Multi-Level Sales Plans"

Practically thousands of Multi-Level sales plans are being used in the world today. In this Report, however, we will discuss only those Multi-Level sales plans that are being used in the U.S. Mail.

There are Three Important Elements to a Mail Order Multi-Level Plan

Products Sold: The product sold is very important. First of all, it must be reasonably priced. You cannot expect someone to pay $10 for something they can purchase locally for $5. Secondly, there must be incentives to buy the product. In a Multi-Level plan, the only real incentive to buy the product is the opportunity the buyer has to reproduce the product and sell it to others. The best product to offer to everyone else who participates, is information. Extensive research in mail Order programs has proven this to be the most effective product to offer in Multi-Level sales. Beware of plans that promote a company's name in the letter to provide mailing list rentals. Usually, these companies want to sell their list more than they want to make the plan successful for all the participants.
Level of Plan: Exhaustive research has shown that the plan should be a four-level plan. Fewer than four levels fails to allow enough people to participate. More than four levels causes the plans to become too large. The best plans allow each participant to collect at all four levels. With four levels, each person involved knows at all times where their name is on the list, as well as how many people are participating. If enough are not participating, more programs should be sent out.
Invitation to Participate: Your invitation to participate should be included in your initial letter. Everything we have learned tells us that the letter should contain four pages (in this order):
- An opening testimonial
- A letter of introduction from or about the originator of the plan, and additional testimonials.
- An invitation to participate along with a four-level list of all the Reports with names and addresses where the Reports can be ordered.
- A conclusion from the originator to tie the whole package together. When the Reports are purchased, a handwritten note should accompany the order.

FIND A MULTI-LEVEL PLAN THAT MEETS THESE REQUIREMENTS, AND YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO RICHES!

So. The four "Christopher Erickson" reports are now in the public domain, and through careful dissemination of these reports, we can make it so hapless Internet users the world over are never, ever bothered by a "reports" chain letter again. Right?

Alas, 'tis not to be. Chain letters are constantly mutating, and as I was preparing this MMFoW, a reader forwarded a new chain letter. The subject chosen by the spammer was "Finally... NEW Reports !!!" and the intro contains the following:

By now you have probably seen the business report based multi-level program that has been dominating the Internet in recent months. It has been rewritten many different ways although the four business reports it is based upon are always the same.

...and...

This system is based on four business reports, without new reports there isn't a new system. So with that in mind I have written four new, pertinent reports that describe the process in full detail.

Sure enough, it refers to four new reports: HOW TO GUARANTEE YOUR RESULTS IN MULTI-LEVEL SALES, MULTI-LEVEL SALES: PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE, ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS ON THE INTERNET, and the no doubt fascinating MULTI-LEVEL SALES PLANS: THE KEYS TO SUCCESS.

As luck would have it, this letter was sent out by the author of the reports himself -- or at least the dude claiming to have authored the new reports. The "CBC" in the message header refers to "Coe Brothers Company," the name in address #2, which is a PO box in Loon Lake, Washington. Slot #1 is a street address in Loon Lake. According to the phone book, it belongs to Albert L. and Gary Coe, and has the phone number 1-509-233-2970. The folks in slots #3 and #4 are most likely buddies of Albert and Gary's whom they used as filler so there'd be no vacant slots for their first mailing.

So, if this new version with the re-written reports really takes off and you start getting your own copies, I'm sure Albert and Gary will welcome your call to discuss matters. As always, be polite (they're professional multi-level marketers running a respectable multi-level marketing business just as the Ancient Greeks did over 2,000 years ago, and thus you should treat them as professionals), and don't call after Albert and Gary's bedtime of 9:00 PM Pacific.

This entry was posted on January 11th, 1998 at 02:38:38 pm and is filed under Featured MMF Takedown.

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